Growing Pains
Feb. 15th, 2012 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bungakertasTitle: Growing Pains
Rating: PG
Warning(s): angst; depression; WAFF
Summary: How Charlie joined the tok'ra and what he did afterwards. A post-ep for “Show and Tell.”
Pairing(s): None. Some hints of canon pairings, perhaps, but this isn’t a romance story. Sorry.
Spoilers: through the end of “Into The Fire”
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and related characters and situations are the property of MGM Studios Inc. No money changed hands and no copyright infringement is intended or implied.
Author's Notes: This is what I think happened to Charlie (the reetou kid) after the end of “Show and Tell.” I haven’t seen this done very much, so hopefully you like it.
*~*~*
Charlie held on tightly to the hand of the man with whom he walked through the Stargate. Mother had told him to trust only Jack—no. He mustn’t think of either of them. He tensed all the muscles of his body, trying to clear his mind.
The planet they were on was dry, dusty, hot, and barren. They descended the steps of the Stargate into an empty wasteland full of odd rock formations. It was stark, though Charlie supposed it would be pretty in its own way were he not so frightened and sad.
The man looked down at him with a friendly expression. “You okay?”
Charlie nodded, saying nothing.
The man looked skeptical. “You don’t look okay. You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I am facing multiple organ failure and will soon die,” Charlie answered quietly.
The man’s expression grew rueful. “Yeah. Wrong thing to say.” He looked down as they walked and said, “Listen, I know I’m not Jack O’Neill, but I’m not so bad. My name is Jacob Carter.”
Charlie nodded. “You are Samantha’s father.”
Jacob nodded. “My brilliant kid.” He looked very proud.
And it was that moment when Charlie realized he could trust this man after all and asked the question preying on his mind. “Will it hurt?”
Jacob frowned thoughtfully. “It does a bit, but it’s not so bad and it’s over quickly. It feels uncomfortable more than painful. And your throat will feel scratchy for a few days.”
“Will I die?”
Jacob shook his head. “I don’t know, Charlie. It may be that a symbiote won’t be able to save you. But…mine saved me, and I was sick when I came here. I think you’ve got a good chance.”
Charlie blinked. “You…?”
“I was dying when I came to the tok’ra. If it weren’t for Selmak, I’d be dead now.”
Charlie nodded, not replying to that. They arrived at a spot in the sand and all four of them came to a halt. Then, to his surprise, rings burst out of the sand around him, and he flinched in surprise.
Jacob gave his hand a slight squeeze, and Charlie found himself surprised at how comforting the gesture was.
A bright light flashed around them and then another, and suddenly they were in a new place, rings falling to the ground into a floor beneath their feet. There was a cavern with crystals in the walls all around them.
“The tunnels take some getting used to, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Jacob promised.
Charlie nodded, took a step, and fell to his knees, too dizzy to stand.
Jacob scooped him up. His eyes flashed and his voice suddenly echoed eerily. “Do not exert yourself further, child. You have trusted my host. I must ask now that you trust me. Can you do this?”
Charlie nodded miserably.
The new person wearing Jacob’s body took him down several corridors of crystal tunnels into a room full of hexagonal tanks.
“This child has come to us to be blended,” Jacob’s body said, helping Charlie to sit on an alcove in the wall. Although the change in his voice was somewhat frightening, this person’s hands were gentle.
“A child?” another person, a woman, with an echoing voice demanded in surprise. “What good will he be as an operative?”
“He has come to us as a voluntary host, and this is a rare enough occasion. There are too many tok’ra without hosts as it is,” Jacob’s body replied.
Charlie wanted to say something, but he couldn’t speak. He leaned over, nearly falling on his face. Jacob’s hands caught him. Charlie’s stomach twisted and he gasped. He tried to vomit, but there was nothing in his stomach.
When he was finally able to sit back up, it was Jacob’s real voice that said, “Easy there, Charlie. Just breathe for a bit. Just relax and breathe.”
A third person, this one a man, entered the room and said, in a voice that did not echo, “I have heard a child was here to be a host. Has a symbiote been selected for him?”
“Not as yet,” Jacob’s echoing voice said. “Do you have any suggestions?”
“Rannel. There are few more thoughtful or kind,” the new man said. He came over to Charlie. “My name is Aldwin. My symbiote is Sarek.”
The person wearing Jacob’s body laughed and moved off to go get something, striking up a conversation on something with the woman in the room.
“Jacob finds Sarek’s name amusing. He claims this is the name of an alien from an Earth fiction,” Aldwin continued.
“Why does his voice sometimes sound like that?” Charlie asked.
“When a symbiote speaks, they do so in that voice. Jacob is blended with Selmak.”
Jacob—or Selmak, perhaps—returned, one of the hexagonal tanks in one hand. Inside was a snake-like creature, suspended in a liquid.
“This next bit is the scary part,” Jacob said, his voice normal again. “Aldwin and I can be here for it, but you’re going to have to let Rannel in.”
Charlie nodded.
“What’s going to happen is I will open the lid of this container and Rannel will be able to move. He’ll come out on his own, and his instinct is to go to you. But he won’t go in without your permission. To let him in, you have to open your mouth,” Jacob explained.
Charlie nodded.
Jacob pressed a button and then opened the top of the tank.
The snake slithered out onto Charlie’s lap, opening a mouth that had four fangs, flaring a ruff, and making a motion like it was stretching with a small squeak. The movement was a bit funny and Charlie found himself laughing.
The creature turned to him and hopped onto his arm.
This startled him, and his laughter died. But then, all the creature did was look at him, patiently, and steadily, without any further movement.
Charlie opened his mouth.
The snake flowed into him, over his tongue and then through the back of his throat. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe! Desperately, Charlie tried to gasp in air, but he only swallowed more of the snake. He choked, pure panic breaking into his mind.
Do not be frightened! I am here. I am within. It is over. You are safe.
The words were not his thoughts, but they were within his mind regardless. He tried taking a breath. Air! Blessed air filled his lungs and he felt himself relax just a bit.
I am Rannel. You have allowed yourself to be blended with me. I am more grateful than words, the mental voice said. Charlie could feel the powerful mind now touching his own, careful not to overwhelm him. This creature had deep memories that slid over his thoughts like water, many years of history sliding into place in his mind.
Charlie felt his astonishment at the ease of their communication distantly as he remembered the events that had led to his coming here. Another wave of grief and sadness washed over him.
Oh, I am so sorry, Rannel said quietly. And much to his shock, Charlie realized that Rannel truly did share his grief. I must concentrate on healing your body. You are very sick. But you need not be afraid of dying anymore. I can heal you. It will take some time, and you should rest, but you will live.
“Charlie?” a voice said. Charlie heard it as if from a very great distance away.
You must answer him, Rannel instructed, focusing on correcting the functions of Charlie’s broken organs.
“Charlie?”
The voice sounded closer now.
“Charlie?”
Charlie opened his eyes. He hadn’t even remembered closing them. Jacob was holding one of his hands. Aldwin the other. Both were regarding him with worry. The woman—She makes sure the unblended symbiotes remain healthy and alive, Rannel supplied for him—watched from a few steps back, also obviously concerned.
“I’m all right,” Charlie said. “Rannel says he can heal me. But he says it will take some time and I should rest while he does.”
They both looked relieved. The woman moved off to resume her rounds.
“Then your blending was successful,” Aldwin sighed. “I am glad.”
“This will feel awkward,” Jacob said, “but if it’s all right, may Rannel speak?”
Charlie tried thinking at Rannel. At first it didn’t work. He concentrated a bit.
Jacob and Aldwin wish to speak with you. The request came out almost by mistake.
I am going to take control of your body for a moment, Rannel warned him. This will feel unusual and possibly frightening, but I will be brief. You need not fear.
Charlie tried to prepare himself, but there was nothing that he could imagine that quite prepared him for the sensation of his body suddenly doing things that he had absolutely no control over. His eyes seemed to blink, though he knew his eyelids hadn’t moved. His hand raised up and he studied it although he could not so much as direct his eyes to move.
Rannel was right. The sensation was terrifying.
His voice spoke. It echoed the way that Jacob’s had. “My host is very ill. I must focus on healing him.”
“And are you all right?” Aldwin asked.
Charlie experienced a mental blink. While it was only natural that he had worried for himself, it was just now hitting him how truly dangerous this could’ve been for Rannel. And the tok'ra would understand, better than he had, how valuable the life of a symbiote was. He felt very selfish, suddenly.
“I am,” Rannel said, “but I am going to allow Charlie to resume control. He is very young, and today has been quite frightening for him as it is.”
And just like that, Charlie could feel his body responding to his own commands. And now, having experienced it, he realized that there was nothing to fear from Rannel. He could trust his new…what were they to one another, anyway?
Your mother was the Reetou, Rannel said thoughtfully. Jack O’Neill has assumed the place of your father. You may call me your brother, if you like.
I would like that, Charlie agreed, nodding.
“Charlie?” Jacob asked.
Charlie looked up and realized he’d nodded when no one was speaking. “I’m sorry. Rannel said something.”
Jacob grinned. “Well, I can relate to that.”
“Of course you can, Jacob,” Aldwin retorted, with good-natured irritation. “You run around giggling all day at jokes Selmak makes at everyone else’s expense.”
“You are simply jealous that my sense of humor is more acute than your own,” Selmak retorted. He turned to Charlie. “We will assign you some personal quarters where you may rest while Rannel heals you.”
Charlie nodded, all his distraction at the antics of Aldwin and Jacob and Selmak disappearing. Aldwin shot him a look of concern and he realized that their behavior had been for his benefit, to try and cheer him up a little. The knowledge only made him feel worse.
“They have already been assigned. Shall I take you there?” Aldwin offered.
Charlie hesitated.
You may trust Aldwin, Rannel said. My last host was his twin brother. He is a good man.
Charlie nodded at Aldwin and slowly climbed down from his seat. Aldwin offered his hand, Charlie took it, and they walked slowly out of the room and deeper into the complex.
“You may not know this, but Rannel’s previous host was my brother,” Aldwin said after a moment.
“Your twin,” Charlie replied.
“Rannel told you?” Aldwin asked. “Yes, he was always quick to explain whatever he could.”
“He says you are a good man,” Charlie told him.
“He is biased,” Aldwin replied. “I am a good tok’ra. I am afraid that to be a good tok’ra, you must often be a horrible person. We are not an honorable people.” He sighed. “Even my suggestion of his blending with you was selfish. You now hold my brother’s memories and, while it is not the same, it comforts me to know his thoughts are with you.”
Charlie thought this over and finally said, “I understand. I miss Mother.”
“What happened to her?”
“She died, fighting the other reetou that attacked the tau’ri.”
Aldwin stared at him.
“Your mother was a reetou?”
“She created me so that I could warn the tau’ri. She made me so that I could see reetou, even though I am human. But, I she had to do it quickly, and so my body was put together wrongly. I think she wished she hadn’t done it, though, long before we went to the tau’ri,” he finished quietly.
“If she truly cared for you,” Aldwin said slowly, “she could not have done anything but blame herself for any pain you suffered, since she was your creator. But once your development was begun, the only right thing to do would be to allow it to continue.”
Charlie wrenched his hand away. “Mother could not allow the tau’ri to be killed by the rebel reetou! They had no defense! Someone had to warn them and she could not!”
Aldwin turned, knelt and placed his hands on Charlie’s shoulders. “You misunderstand me, Charlie. I believe your mother was faced with a number of bad choices. To do nothing and allow the tau’ri to die. To try to warn them herself, knowing they might not listen—or even notice, in which case they would die. Or to create you, a messenger to whom they would listen and be saved, knowing, however, that your life would be short and painful and lead to a terrible death. The decision could not have been an easy one, and her choice was the one that she believed preserved as many lives as possible. But knowing you would suffer pain and not being able to stop it…I think it must have caused her great pain to do as she did. She must have believed very strongly that there was no other choice, or else she would not have put you in this position. And if she came to care for you, then she very likely found her decision even harder to bear.”
Charlie thought this over. Then, very quietly, he said, “Rannel was right. You are a good man.”
Charlie spent the next few days sleeping, for the most part, while Rannel pieced together the broken systems of his body. It seemed like he did nothing but sleep, wake up for just long enough to eat something and then crawl back into bed, exhausted by that tiny effort. He dreamed of returning to the tau’ri. With them he had felt…something. He was not entirely sure what, but it was something good, he thought. Now he was simply alone, most often. Sometimes he woke to Aldwin checking in on him, but this was not frequent.
But eventually, slowly, and somewhat painfully, he began to feel more energetic. His hair began to grow again, something Rannel, Aldwin, and Selmak all made time to compliment him on. He started getting up to explore the complex. It was huge, but Rannel sadly informed him that it ought to be much, much bigger. He had not, he was discovering, joined a people group with a hopeful future. In some ways, they might not have a future at all.
And Jack never came.
That puzzled Charlie. And for once, it puzzled Rannel as well. With most things, Rannel was able to offer some sort of explanation. With engineering problems, especially, as Charlie soon discovered. Rannel was very good at building things and solving problems, but this one he had no answer for. That was, in fact, his job as a tok'ra. He worked with a team of engineers to develop new technologies and devices, which was always interesting, though it afforded him no information on why Jack had not visited. And while Aldwin was usually very forthcoming with information, he was reluctant to give any real information in this case. Charlie and Rannel had yet to prise anything useful out of him. Jacob and Selmak, while they always said hello whenever they saw Charlie, were constantly busy. Aside from being one of the more important operatives, they were also members of the Council and therefore did not often have time to do anything but say hello.
Charlie was beginning to worry. No one from Earth had come. Not to see him or anyone else. Nor had Jack sent him so much as a single message.
The days all began to blend together in a horrible sameness. He would wake up, begin working, eat as necessary, and eventually go to sleep. There was no book to be read or music to be listened to. He spoke to no one but Rannel, generally, and those who did speak to him, usually only did so to ask to speak to Rannel. He had no place here but as a vessel.
And Jack never came.
He and Rannel had long arguments about the subject before they fell asleep each night.
Something must have gone wrong on Earth! Charlie would insist. What if the reetou returned?
I am afraid it is more likely that Colonel O'Neill has simply chosen not to contact you, Rannel would reply.
Jack said he'd visit. He wouldn't lie to me. At least, Charlie thought to himself, I don't think he would. Probably.
Charlie, you only knew him for a few hours.
Mother watched them for a long time. She sent me to Jack. I watched them as I grew up. She wouldn't have sent me to someone who would lie, and Jack is a good man. Something must be wrong! Because if it isn't then…I got it all wrong. I really can't trust Jack.
And over again. Until finally, one night, Rannel seemed to sigh and finally said, Then we will visit and see for ourselves.
Of course, by simply asking when a good time to visit would be, they were told there was no reason to visit the tau’ri and strongly encouraged to wait until there was such a reason. But when they scanned the agendas for upcoming council meetings, neither Charlie nor Rannel could discern anything that might qualify as a reason to visit the tau’ri. Two more suggestions were politely put aside.
Finally, Rannel seemed to reach the limit of his patience. One morning he asked for permission to assume control, and then retrieved the device the tau’ri had given the tok'ra to inform them to open their chappa'ai to friendly travellers. It was a simple device, and so building another device to mimic its function was quite easy. And because there were no secrets among the tok'ra, Rannel was able to simply look up the code necessary to send with his duplicate device to communicate with the tau’ri. It was stored in the tok'ra records to be accessed as needed, after all.
Charlie wasn't sure what had gotten into Rannel. He had been, to this point, generally thoughtful and restrained. This sudden action, taken in a manner that felt almost furtive and sneaking, was…uncharacteristic.
Because instead of simply leaving as soon as they were prepared, Rannel waited until they had some hours to themselves and then took them to the chappa'ai and punched up the address to a world the tok'ra knew to be uninhabited.
For all that he didn't understand the need for secrecy, Charlie couldn't help but feel a bit excited. A few weeks ago he had thought he would die after only a short life. Now, not only was he reasonably confident of living longer than most humans, but he was able to travel to other worlds.
They stepped through the watery surface of the chappa'ai.
They emerged onto a snowy wasteland with winds that made Charlie long for a nice, warm fire.
I am sorry, Rannel said to him. I simply chose the first world that came to mind. I had forgotten how cold it is here. I did not wish to risk our being observed using this device.
Charlie watched as he dialed in the address for Earth and waited for the chappa'ai to engage. Then, with their newly built communication device, Charlie watched Rannel put in the code the tau’ri had given to them. The light on their device turned on, telling them the code had been accepted and so they went, again, through the chappa'ai.
He had to admit a slight relief when they were able to walk unscathed into the tau’ri's base. Though the alarm the tau'ri used was very loud, he noted as Rannel winced at it. At least, this time, there were no men pointing weapons at him. He felt Rannel slowly raise his hands, palms outwards, in a gesture of peace.
Rannel lifted their head and said in a loud voice, “I have come to speak, if I may, to Colonel Jack O'Neill.”
There was a long pause and finally a voice coming from the speakers said, “Sergeant Lyman, is coming to escort you to General Hammond's office.”
And indeed a door opened to their left and a friendly man, with something of a large nose, entered and said, “Hello. I'm Sergeant Lyman. If you would come with me?”
Rannel nodded politely and they followed the man down a hallway and then up a two sets of staircases—which apparently took them through the room where the tau’ri controlled the gate, which Rannel eyed curiously—to a room with a long table in it. The sergeant then led him to a door and said pleasantly, “Right through there, sir.”
“My thanks, Sergeant Lyman,” Rannel said to him.
The man gave him a friendly smile and then vanished away. Rannel entered the door and they took in the office. General Hammond was seated behind his desk in a rather comfortable-looking chair and regarding them with a curious expression. “What can we do for you, Charlie? I have to say, it's good to see you looking better, son.”
Charlie felt Rannel raise an eyebrow and then he said, “My apologies, sir. I have not been introduced to you. I am Rannel, the symbiote blended with Charlie. I must ask…is everything well here?”
Hammond looked at him in even greater confusion. “Of course it is.”
“I see.” He took this in quietly.
Charlie felt a sinking in his stomach. Rannel had been right then. Nothing was wrong. Jack just hadn't wanted to contact him. Maybe he had offended him, choosing the name he had. Maybe it was his existence at all that bothered the man. Maybe it was something else entirely. But it didn't matter, in the end, what it was. He had been wrong, that was all. They would go back to the tok'ra then, and not bother the tau’ri again.
“I apologize, then, for the inconvenience we have caused, sir,” Rannel said politely. “With your permission, we will return to the planet we came from.”
Hammond blinked. “Now, hold on just a moment. You said you wanted to talk to Jack.”
“Yes.” Charlie didn't anymore, though. Jack didn't want to talk to him, obviously. He had sent him to his superior rather than speaking with him himself, even.
“Well, the thing is, it's actually somewhat late in our evening. I've got a ridiculous amount of paperwork right at the moment, or I wouldn't even be here. Colonel O'Neill isn't on the premises at the moment.”
Oh. Then Jack hadn't been avoiding him intentionally. This time, anyway.
“Actually, none of SG-1 is. But, since you've come all this way, if you like, I can get him on the phone.”
“Phone?” Rannel said curiously.
For an answer, Hammond picked up the top piece of a gray device—a similar-looking red one beside it was ignored—and pushed several buttons on it. He waited a moment, listening to the top piece, and then pushed another button and Jack's voice issued from the device. Charlie was almost ashamed at how happy he was to hear that voice.
It took a little bit of arranging, and Charlie and Rannel had to surrender every single stitch of clothes they were wearing for new, tau’ri ones, but General Hammond was able to designate them a “foreign dignitary” and give them permission for a “limited and brief expedition outside the base, provided they were in the custody of a trusted member or members of Stargate Command.” Rannel suspected this was not the intended use of that particular bit of paperwork. And after they had changed clothes, Rannel withdrew and Charlie took the lead.
The “trusted member or members of Stargate Command” arrived shortly in the form of Jack and his friend Dr. Daniel Jackson, who laughingly decried all attempts to call him “Doctor Jackson” in favor of Daniel. Neither were wearing uniforms. Charlie wasn't sure whether he thought that was odd or not.
“When we heard you'd come to visit, we decided to make it a team movie night,” Jack explained. “The only real question now is, what kind of movies do you like?”
The explanation of what a movie was and what types there were to choose from took them all the way to the “car,” which Charlie discovered was a transportation vehicle after they had climbed inside and sat down.
He found himself pushing his nose against the window of the vehicle, trying to see everything at once, even though the light was fading and it was almost too dark to distinguish what sort of vegetation was outside of the windows anyway. His fascination only grew as they got into town and he realized that the tau’ri world was absolutely full of people. There were so many other “cars” out, going all sorts of different directions. They passed by all kinds of buildings with brightly colored signs that were lighted so you could see them clearly. People walked by on the sides of the streets. They were so many and so interesting. Unlike the tok'ra, they all dressed differently and as they pleased. Certainly the girl walking down the street with pink hair that grew upwards into points could not possibly be dressing to please anyone else.
They reached their destination where Samantha and Teal'c—who, aside from not being in a uniform either, had a rather amusing hat pulled low over his forehead—were waiting for them in front of a huge building that claimed to house a number of other vendors.
“Hey, Charlie!” Samantha greeted him with a friendly wave. With her clothes and her smile, she looked just like any other person of this world. They all did. Charlie looked down at his clothes and realized with a start that so did he. He was human. And he looked like he fitted in.
“It is indeed good to see you again, Charlie,” Teal'c added, bowing his head. Charlie bowed his own, a customary goa'uld greeting he had learned living among the tok'ra.
“So, what are we watching?” Samantha asked.
“Charlie said something exciting,” Daniel told her.
“Then we must observe The Matrix,” Teal'c put in, looking just slightly smug. Smug?
“If we must,” Jack said with a sigh.
“Would you prefer something else?” Charlie asked curiously.
“Nah,” Jack replied with a grin. “Matrix'll be fine.” But he had an odd expression.
“The Matrix is a story of a sort the…people of Colorado Springs,” Teal'c explained, carefully not saying tau'ri, “designate 'science fiction.'”
“But Daniel has said it is designated as an 'action film,'” Charlie protested.
“We have many designations for our stories,” Daniel jumped in, blithely ignoring the raised eyebrows from people nearby at their conversation, “and often apply several labels. So this one is both.”
“In any case, getting Jack to watch science fiction is like pulling teeth,” Samantha put in. “But since you picked the movie, he can't complain.”
“Everyone's turning against me,” Jack grumbled, but he was smiling with his eyes, so Charlie could see he didn't really mind.
The movie was interesting. Indeed, the whole experience was. At first Charlie thought he would not understand the film very well, but he had not counted on Rannel's ability to solve puzzles or his long memories. With the help of his symbiote, they were able to parse most of the meaning of the film, resulting in both of them finding it highly enjoyable.
And then there was the watching of it. Daniel had explained that this movie was very popular but no longer a “new release,” and the room they watched in was, therefore, not very crowded. They sat in a darkened room full of chairs, and the pictures flashed onto an enormous screen in front of them, many times the size of real people. Samatha had purchased something called “popcorn,” which Charlie tried at Jack's insistence. He didn't like it very much, and neither did Rannel, to Jack's disappointment. Daniel bought himself and Charlie both drinks with crushed ice and flavoring that Daniel claimed would turn their tongues blue. And Teal'c shared with him some tasty small colored candies with a little white glyph stamped on them, though he judiciously hoarded them from the rest of his team.
Afterwards, the six of them went to a place that sold something Jack's team referred to as “pizza” to eat and discuss the movie. Charlie liked pizza. Rannel thought it was messy. Though he approved of the “bread sticks.” They both knew that no one had so much as made mention of the fact that they were not supposed to be there, but Charlie was having the first truly good day he'd had in his whole life—as far as he could remember—and SG-1 did not seem to care, so neither he nor Rannel asked any of the questions they'd come to ask. Yet.
But finally the pizza had been consumed, Charlie finished his “soda” and he and Rannel found themselves standing on the sidewalk saying good-bye to Teal'c, who was going back to Stargate Command via Samantha “dropping him off.” Daniel was accompanying them. Charlie had assumed he would return with them and moved to go with them when Jack laid a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Where 're you headed?” he demanded.
“Am I not to return with…Murray?” Charlie asked, remembering just in time to use Teal'c's false name.
“Not a chance, kiddo. You came for a real visit. You're spending the night with me. Cleared it with Hammond and everything. In fact, he practically ordered it. If I let you go back now, I might be demoted,” Jack explained, steering him back towards his car.
Charlie smiled at this. Rannel was swamped with a vast amount of relief, however. Charlie didn't entirely understand why.
The ride to Jack's house was largely quiet. When they got out, Jack led him into the house and showed him the guest room, explained how the bathroom worked, and then said, “Now, before you go to bed, we need to talk.”
“You want to know why I came,” Charlie said.
“No, I know why you came,” Jack said. “I haven't been able to send you so much as a post card since we last saw each other, and that…well, that wasn't a good day. Especially for you. Believe it or not, I actually have been trying.”
Charlie stared at him in shock.
“I got kidnapped by Hathor,” Jack said. “Long story, but the good news is, she's dead now.”
Charlie had thought his shock couldn't be increased, but that statement did so. “That is very good news,” he agreed slowly.
“Between that and the fact that your people still don't trust mine enough to give us a dependable way to contact you…well, let's just say that I've got a stack of post cards ready to go as soon as I can figure out how to get them to you,” Jack finished. “Basically, what I wanted to say is, I'm sorry. I haven't been keeping my promise and I should have.”
Charlie felt his legs start to go weak. He knew he should say something, but the words wouldn't come. And, for the first time, Rannel came surging forwards without asking permission first.
“Forgive my host,” Rannel said quietly. “You must understand, the tok'ra are not used to children. When taken together with my own influence on him, Charlie has been experiencing a rather unusual childhood.”
“I think the word you're looking for is 'joyless,'” Jack said coldly.
To Charlie's surprise—and Jack's too, apparently, judging by the way his eyebrows flew upwards—Rannel nodded. “That is perhaps the most accurate word. It is difficult for him to form friends as a human child ordinarily would. And many tok'ra are apt to forget he is a child at all. They do not intend it as a slight. And when they recall this, they are quite kind.”
Jack looked rueful. “Well, you, anyway, have just leap-frogged into the position of Best Snake for bringing him here.”
Rannel chuckled at this. “I am almost hesitant to say thank you for such a back-handed compliment.”
“How's he doing, anyway, health-wise?” Jack asked.
“I have been able to compensate for his defects,” Rannel replied. “Though dispensing with them will take longer. Simply reducing his growth rate to a normal one solved many of the short-term problems. But I must now retrain many of his systems from a genetic level, which will take many years. However, by the time he reaches adulthood, I believe I will have been able to eradicate the problems. It will mean he will loose his ability to see the reetou, but it will also ensure that he not remain dependent on me for his survival, should something happen to me.”
Charlie hadn't known this, or even suspected it, and had absolutely no idea how to even begin to thank Rannel for it.
Do not even consider it, Rannel snapped at him, though his mental voice sounded fond. If we are brothers, than it is only proper I care for you as I may.
“Wow. I didn't know you could do that,” Jack said. “You aren't worried something will happen, are you?”
“No, but the tok'ra are an illegal and hunted resistance movement. It is best to be prepared,” Rannel answered with a shrug. “I am going to retire now, and allow Charlie to resume speaking. But I thank you, Jack O'Neill, for your kindness to him.”
And with that, Charlie was standing on his feet again, not quite sure how to respond to the conversation he'd just heard. He began stammering out a thank you, when Jack cut him off.
“Hey, no. No thanking me. You saved me, and my friends, and my world, from those rebel reetou. And, besides that, you're a good kid. We've all been kind of worried at you, at the SGC. I should be thanking you for coming around so we know you're okay,” Jack said.
“I will have to return tomorrow,” Charlie said. “The other tok'ra will be angry.”
“I doubt it,” Jack said, “but if they are, you let your snake loose on 'em. Rannel seems like he's pretty solidly in your corner.”
This prompted the equivalent of a mental eyeroll from Rannel, who was wondering who else's corner he would be in, after all, but Charlie didn't mind. Because for the first time since before his mother had sent him to the tau’ri, he felt truly safe. Rannel was working on fixing him, Jack wasn't angry and did still like him after all, and he hadn't ruined anything for the tau’ri or the tok'ra with this excursion, however immature it was.
Because he realized now that it was very, very childish of him to have run away like this. Why had Rannel helped him do it?
You are a child, Rannel pointed out almost angrily. You have done nothing specifically wrong, however much we may have violated the “spirit of the law,” so to speak. And you required reassurance. Do not be troubled. Go to sleep. We will deal with the tok'ra in the morning. And we will do it together.
The morning came far too soon. Astonishingly, Jack had managed to find clean clothes for him. Rannel suspected he'd acquired them the previous night after they had gone to bed. And after cleaning their teeth, Charlie followed his nose from the guest room to find Jack in the kitchen cooking…something.
Charlie opened his mouth to ask what it was when a knock came on the door.
Jack looked curiously at Charlie, who looked just as curiously back. Jack then gave a shrug and said, “Come on in!”
Jacob Carter, of all people, came in. Charlie's heart sank down to his odd, tau’ri shoes. He was in so much trouble that Selmak had to be sent for him? Though, from the clothes he was wearing, he looked like any other tau’ri. Charlie forgot sometimes that Carter was from this world.
“Hello, Jack,” Carter said. “Hi, Charlie.”
“Jacob!” Jack greeted him with a big grin that showed too many teeth. “How's things?”
“A little topsy-turvy from our runaway here. No one told me you'd been angling to visit until after they realized you were missing,” Carter explained.
Rannel rushed forwards again. “Charlie's presence here is my fault completely. He is not to be blamed—”
“Hey!” Jack broke in. “Any arguing must be done after waffles and not before!” He turned to Jacob. “Butter and syrup?”
“Oh, yes, please,” Carter answered with a friendly smile.
Some understanding seemed to pass between him and Jack, because Jack's answering smile didn't have too many teeth in it. He looked…relieved.
Carter inquired about their outing last night, but when he exhibited nothing more than curiosity and even asked about the film, Rannel retreated again and encouraged Charlie to speak about what things he'd enjoyed and what he had found confusing. Carter and Jack filled in some of the gaps, so that by the time they returned to the SGC, Charlie felt much more confident he'd understood the plot correctly.
Charlie redressed in his tok'ra clothes. They were ludicrously small. The only set that had been made for a child. When he had put them on, he realized just how silly he felt in them. Like they belonged to someone else.
There was a knock on the door. Charlie opened it to see Jacob Carter standing before him, looking down calmly.
“Are you prepared to return?” Selmak asked him.
Charlie nodded. He fell into step beside Selmak. After a moment he asked, “Why is it that Jack has been unable to visit me? Why is my visiting him such a remarkable event?”
The voice that answered him was Carter's. He sighed and said, “Politics. The tok'ra don't trust anyone easily, so they don't want to let the tau’ri in on our secrets. And the tau’ri are keeping the gate secret from most of their people, plus dealing with their own politicians in even trying to keep their gate program active at all. Believe me, I sympathize. I don't get to see Sam, either.”
Charlie nodded. “She is your daughter. That is hard.”
“Maybe we'll be able to make an exception for you, in the future.”
There was a white-hot flash of anger from Rannel, who was speaking so fast that Charlie almost didn't realize it until the words were coming out of his mouth. “Is this really true? Or are you merely saying it to gain the trust of my host long enough to return him to Vorash?” For someone who had always been so careful and cautious to ask him permission before even speaking, Rannel was certainly behaving much more assertively these past few days.
Now Carter's eyes flashed. “I will most assuredly make a case to the Council on his behalf,” Selmak said.
“A case we both know will mostly likely be futile,” Rannel snapped.
There was a deep silence. Finally Selmak said, “Most likely.” He sounded defeated.
They entered the gate room.
“You must not lie to him, Selmak,” Rannel said. “My host has suffered sufficiently for his life, short though it has been. Having been groomed to trust only one human, he now sees nothing of that man and has been forced to depend on an alien creature simply to remain alive. He does not need to wonder if he can believe what he is told on top of all of this. He deserves better from us.”
They stopped in front of the gate. Rannel had pulled back again and Charlie was ashamed to discover there were tears that suddenly were coursing down his cheeks. He wiped them away in frustration. “I was going to come back with you anyway. You didn't have to try and trick me.”
“Hey,” Jacob said, catching his hands. “It isn't a trick. I will take your case to the Council. Rannel is right that they probably won't listen, but I promise I'm going to try. Maybe, with two of us connected to the tau’ri, instead of just me, it will at least make them more sympathetic. Maybe they won't listen now, but there's always going to be more chances in the future.”
Charlie nodded, glancing to the chappa'ai as the symbol ring spun slowly. Why did the tau'ri gate run at such an impossibly slow speed? “Please tell me what the Council says? Even if it is not what I would like.”
“You got it,” Jacob agreed. “You've been so brave. Sometimes I forget how much you've been through lately. I'm old enough to know better than that. My fault.”
Charlie shook his head. “Rannel has said the same things. Why is how I feel everyone's fault but mine?”
Jacob laughed. “Maybe we just want to be a little nice to you. You really have been through a lot lately. Aldwin and I talked. We are going to work something out so that we can both spend more time with you. It isn't quite the same as having someone your own age, but I think we can work it out. Is that all right with you?”
Charlie thought it over. He finally said, “I don't know that it will help. But I don't believe it will make things worse.”
Jacob actually smiled at this. “Good. I'm glad you're honest. And if that doesn't help, then we'll think of something else. But you are not going to be alone, Charlie. We're going to stick with you.”
Charlie nodded. It wasn't perfect. But perhaps it was enough.
The chappa'ai engaged. He took a breath, drew himself up, and was about to step forward when he noticed something. Jacob Carter reaching out his hand.
So he reached back and took it.
*~*~*
Author's Notes: The episode “Show and Tell” went out on February 26, 1999. That season ended on March 12 with a “To Be Continued...” cliffhanger that didn't conclude until June 25 (also 1999). For the sake of this story, I'm assuming that Charlie goes to the tok'ra in February, and that “Out Of Mind/Into The Fire” happen together on March 12-13ish (beware the ides of March, indeed). So by the time Charlie visits Jack, it's some time in early April. Which is all terribly important because when I went to look up which movies would have been in theaters at the time, I discovered that The Matrix had come out March 31, 1999. So obviously, SG-1 was going to go watch that. Clearly.
Because I am picky about this sort of thing, according to some Googling, the theater that they go to is the Carmike Chapel Hills 15, which is connected to a mall, and was established in 1982, so it was definitely there in 1999. It does not have stadium seating, but does give military discounts, according to the online reviews. Yes, I actually double-checked whether or not the pickin' theater was there at the time. Yes, I am that lame. So sue me.
In my head, Teal'c totally has a sweet tooth and eats lots of M&Ms.
I actually started writing this story several years ago. I don't even recall when. But I finally sat down and banged out the rest of it all at once one night, and so now I can post it up. The is my first Stargate fic in a while, too. It's kind of nice to come back to this fandom, as it is one of my very first.
Rating: PG
Warning(s): angst; depression; WAFF
Summary: How Charlie joined the tok'ra and what he did afterwards. A post-ep for “Show and Tell.”
Pairing(s): None. Some hints of canon pairings, perhaps, but this isn’t a romance story. Sorry.
Spoilers: through the end of “Into The Fire”
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and related characters and situations are the property of MGM Studios Inc. No money changed hands and no copyright infringement is intended or implied.
Author's Notes: This is what I think happened to Charlie (the reetou kid) after the end of “Show and Tell.” I haven’t seen this done very much, so hopefully you like it.
Charlie held on tightly to the hand of the man with whom he walked through the Stargate. Mother had told him to trust only Jack—no. He mustn’t think of either of them. He tensed all the muscles of his body, trying to clear his mind.
The planet they were on was dry, dusty, hot, and barren. They descended the steps of the Stargate into an empty wasteland full of odd rock formations. It was stark, though Charlie supposed it would be pretty in its own way were he not so frightened and sad.
The man looked down at him with a friendly expression. “You okay?”
Charlie nodded, saying nothing.
The man looked skeptical. “You don’t look okay. You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I am facing multiple organ failure and will soon die,” Charlie answered quietly.
The man’s expression grew rueful. “Yeah. Wrong thing to say.” He looked down as they walked and said, “Listen, I know I’m not Jack O’Neill, but I’m not so bad. My name is Jacob Carter.”
Charlie nodded. “You are Samantha’s father.”
Jacob nodded. “My brilliant kid.” He looked very proud.
And it was that moment when Charlie realized he could trust this man after all and asked the question preying on his mind. “Will it hurt?”
Jacob frowned thoughtfully. “It does a bit, but it’s not so bad and it’s over quickly. It feels uncomfortable more than painful. And your throat will feel scratchy for a few days.”
“Will I die?”
Jacob shook his head. “I don’t know, Charlie. It may be that a symbiote won’t be able to save you. But…mine saved me, and I was sick when I came here. I think you’ve got a good chance.”
Charlie blinked. “You…?”
“I was dying when I came to the tok’ra. If it weren’t for Selmak, I’d be dead now.”
Charlie nodded, not replying to that. They arrived at a spot in the sand and all four of them came to a halt. Then, to his surprise, rings burst out of the sand around him, and he flinched in surprise.
Jacob gave his hand a slight squeeze, and Charlie found himself surprised at how comforting the gesture was.
A bright light flashed around them and then another, and suddenly they were in a new place, rings falling to the ground into a floor beneath their feet. There was a cavern with crystals in the walls all around them.
“The tunnels take some getting used to, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Jacob promised.
Charlie nodded, took a step, and fell to his knees, too dizzy to stand.
Jacob scooped him up. His eyes flashed and his voice suddenly echoed eerily. “Do not exert yourself further, child. You have trusted my host. I must ask now that you trust me. Can you do this?”
Charlie nodded miserably.
The new person wearing Jacob’s body took him down several corridors of crystal tunnels into a room full of hexagonal tanks.
“This child has come to us to be blended,” Jacob’s body said, helping Charlie to sit on an alcove in the wall. Although the change in his voice was somewhat frightening, this person’s hands were gentle.
“A child?” another person, a woman, with an echoing voice demanded in surprise. “What good will he be as an operative?”
“He has come to us as a voluntary host, and this is a rare enough occasion. There are too many tok’ra without hosts as it is,” Jacob’s body replied.
Charlie wanted to say something, but he couldn’t speak. He leaned over, nearly falling on his face. Jacob’s hands caught him. Charlie’s stomach twisted and he gasped. He tried to vomit, but there was nothing in his stomach.
When he was finally able to sit back up, it was Jacob’s real voice that said, “Easy there, Charlie. Just breathe for a bit. Just relax and breathe.”
A third person, this one a man, entered the room and said, in a voice that did not echo, “I have heard a child was here to be a host. Has a symbiote been selected for him?”
“Not as yet,” Jacob’s echoing voice said. “Do you have any suggestions?”
“Rannel. There are few more thoughtful or kind,” the new man said. He came over to Charlie. “My name is Aldwin. My symbiote is Sarek.”
The person wearing Jacob’s body laughed and moved off to go get something, striking up a conversation on something with the woman in the room.
“Jacob finds Sarek’s name amusing. He claims this is the name of an alien from an Earth fiction,” Aldwin continued.
“Why does his voice sometimes sound like that?” Charlie asked.
“When a symbiote speaks, they do so in that voice. Jacob is blended with Selmak.”
Jacob—or Selmak, perhaps—returned, one of the hexagonal tanks in one hand. Inside was a snake-like creature, suspended in a liquid.
“This next bit is the scary part,” Jacob said, his voice normal again. “Aldwin and I can be here for it, but you’re going to have to let Rannel in.”
Charlie nodded.
“What’s going to happen is I will open the lid of this container and Rannel will be able to move. He’ll come out on his own, and his instinct is to go to you. But he won’t go in without your permission. To let him in, you have to open your mouth,” Jacob explained.
Charlie nodded.
Jacob pressed a button and then opened the top of the tank.
The snake slithered out onto Charlie’s lap, opening a mouth that had four fangs, flaring a ruff, and making a motion like it was stretching with a small squeak. The movement was a bit funny and Charlie found himself laughing.
The creature turned to him and hopped onto his arm.
This startled him, and his laughter died. But then, all the creature did was look at him, patiently, and steadily, without any further movement.
Charlie opened his mouth.
The snake flowed into him, over his tongue and then through the back of his throat. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe! Desperately, Charlie tried to gasp in air, but he only swallowed more of the snake. He choked, pure panic breaking into his mind.
Do not be frightened! I am here. I am within. It is over. You are safe.
The words were not his thoughts, but they were within his mind regardless. He tried taking a breath. Air! Blessed air filled his lungs and he felt himself relax just a bit.
I am Rannel. You have allowed yourself to be blended with me. I am more grateful than words, the mental voice said. Charlie could feel the powerful mind now touching his own, careful not to overwhelm him. This creature had deep memories that slid over his thoughts like water, many years of history sliding into place in his mind.
Charlie felt his astonishment at the ease of their communication distantly as he remembered the events that had led to his coming here. Another wave of grief and sadness washed over him.
Oh, I am so sorry, Rannel said quietly. And much to his shock, Charlie realized that Rannel truly did share his grief. I must concentrate on healing your body. You are very sick. But you need not be afraid of dying anymore. I can heal you. It will take some time, and you should rest, but you will live.
“Charlie?” a voice said. Charlie heard it as if from a very great distance away.
You must answer him, Rannel instructed, focusing on correcting the functions of Charlie’s broken organs.
“Charlie?”
The voice sounded closer now.
“Charlie?”
Charlie opened his eyes. He hadn’t even remembered closing them. Jacob was holding one of his hands. Aldwin the other. Both were regarding him with worry. The woman—She makes sure the unblended symbiotes remain healthy and alive, Rannel supplied for him—watched from a few steps back, also obviously concerned.
“I’m all right,” Charlie said. “Rannel says he can heal me. But he says it will take some time and I should rest while he does.”
They both looked relieved. The woman moved off to resume her rounds.
“Then your blending was successful,” Aldwin sighed. “I am glad.”
“This will feel awkward,” Jacob said, “but if it’s all right, may Rannel speak?”
Charlie tried thinking at Rannel. At first it didn’t work. He concentrated a bit.
Jacob and Aldwin wish to speak with you. The request came out almost by mistake.
I am going to take control of your body for a moment, Rannel warned him. This will feel unusual and possibly frightening, but I will be brief. You need not fear.
Charlie tried to prepare himself, but there was nothing that he could imagine that quite prepared him for the sensation of his body suddenly doing things that he had absolutely no control over. His eyes seemed to blink, though he knew his eyelids hadn’t moved. His hand raised up and he studied it although he could not so much as direct his eyes to move.
Rannel was right. The sensation was terrifying.
His voice spoke. It echoed the way that Jacob’s had. “My host is very ill. I must focus on healing him.”
“And are you all right?” Aldwin asked.
Charlie experienced a mental blink. While it was only natural that he had worried for himself, it was just now hitting him how truly dangerous this could’ve been for Rannel. And the tok'ra would understand, better than he had, how valuable the life of a symbiote was. He felt very selfish, suddenly.
“I am,” Rannel said, “but I am going to allow Charlie to resume control. He is very young, and today has been quite frightening for him as it is.”
And just like that, Charlie could feel his body responding to his own commands. And now, having experienced it, he realized that there was nothing to fear from Rannel. He could trust his new…what were they to one another, anyway?
Your mother was the Reetou, Rannel said thoughtfully. Jack O’Neill has assumed the place of your father. You may call me your brother, if you like.
I would like that, Charlie agreed, nodding.
“Charlie?” Jacob asked.
Charlie looked up and realized he’d nodded when no one was speaking. “I’m sorry. Rannel said something.”
Jacob grinned. “Well, I can relate to that.”
“Of course you can, Jacob,” Aldwin retorted, with good-natured irritation. “You run around giggling all day at jokes Selmak makes at everyone else’s expense.”
“You are simply jealous that my sense of humor is more acute than your own,” Selmak retorted. He turned to Charlie. “We will assign you some personal quarters where you may rest while Rannel heals you.”
Charlie nodded, all his distraction at the antics of Aldwin and Jacob and Selmak disappearing. Aldwin shot him a look of concern and he realized that their behavior had been for his benefit, to try and cheer him up a little. The knowledge only made him feel worse.
“They have already been assigned. Shall I take you there?” Aldwin offered.
Charlie hesitated.
You may trust Aldwin, Rannel said. My last host was his twin brother. He is a good man.
Charlie nodded at Aldwin and slowly climbed down from his seat. Aldwin offered his hand, Charlie took it, and they walked slowly out of the room and deeper into the complex.
“You may not know this, but Rannel’s previous host was my brother,” Aldwin said after a moment.
“Your twin,” Charlie replied.
“Rannel told you?” Aldwin asked. “Yes, he was always quick to explain whatever he could.”
“He says you are a good man,” Charlie told him.
“He is biased,” Aldwin replied. “I am a good tok’ra. I am afraid that to be a good tok’ra, you must often be a horrible person. We are not an honorable people.” He sighed. “Even my suggestion of his blending with you was selfish. You now hold my brother’s memories and, while it is not the same, it comforts me to know his thoughts are with you.”
Charlie thought this over and finally said, “I understand. I miss Mother.”
“What happened to her?”
“She died, fighting the other reetou that attacked the tau’ri.”
Aldwin stared at him.
“Your mother was a reetou?”
“She created me so that I could warn the tau’ri. She made me so that I could see reetou, even though I am human. But, I she had to do it quickly, and so my body was put together wrongly. I think she wished she hadn’t done it, though, long before we went to the tau’ri,” he finished quietly.
“If she truly cared for you,” Aldwin said slowly, “she could not have done anything but blame herself for any pain you suffered, since she was your creator. But once your development was begun, the only right thing to do would be to allow it to continue.”
Charlie wrenched his hand away. “Mother could not allow the tau’ri to be killed by the rebel reetou! They had no defense! Someone had to warn them and she could not!”
Aldwin turned, knelt and placed his hands on Charlie’s shoulders. “You misunderstand me, Charlie. I believe your mother was faced with a number of bad choices. To do nothing and allow the tau’ri to die. To try to warn them herself, knowing they might not listen—or even notice, in which case they would die. Or to create you, a messenger to whom they would listen and be saved, knowing, however, that your life would be short and painful and lead to a terrible death. The decision could not have been an easy one, and her choice was the one that she believed preserved as many lives as possible. But knowing you would suffer pain and not being able to stop it…I think it must have caused her great pain to do as she did. She must have believed very strongly that there was no other choice, or else she would not have put you in this position. And if she came to care for you, then she very likely found her decision even harder to bear.”
Charlie thought this over. Then, very quietly, he said, “Rannel was right. You are a good man.”
Charlie spent the next few days sleeping, for the most part, while Rannel pieced together the broken systems of his body. It seemed like he did nothing but sleep, wake up for just long enough to eat something and then crawl back into bed, exhausted by that tiny effort. He dreamed of returning to the tau’ri. With them he had felt…something. He was not entirely sure what, but it was something good, he thought. Now he was simply alone, most often. Sometimes he woke to Aldwin checking in on him, but this was not frequent.
But eventually, slowly, and somewhat painfully, he began to feel more energetic. His hair began to grow again, something Rannel, Aldwin, and Selmak all made time to compliment him on. He started getting up to explore the complex. It was huge, but Rannel sadly informed him that it ought to be much, much bigger. He had not, he was discovering, joined a people group with a hopeful future. In some ways, they might not have a future at all.
And Jack never came.
That puzzled Charlie. And for once, it puzzled Rannel as well. With most things, Rannel was able to offer some sort of explanation. With engineering problems, especially, as Charlie soon discovered. Rannel was very good at building things and solving problems, but this one he had no answer for. That was, in fact, his job as a tok'ra. He worked with a team of engineers to develop new technologies and devices, which was always interesting, though it afforded him no information on why Jack had not visited. And while Aldwin was usually very forthcoming with information, he was reluctant to give any real information in this case. Charlie and Rannel had yet to prise anything useful out of him. Jacob and Selmak, while they always said hello whenever they saw Charlie, were constantly busy. Aside from being one of the more important operatives, they were also members of the Council and therefore did not often have time to do anything but say hello.
Charlie was beginning to worry. No one from Earth had come. Not to see him or anyone else. Nor had Jack sent him so much as a single message.
The days all began to blend together in a horrible sameness. He would wake up, begin working, eat as necessary, and eventually go to sleep. There was no book to be read or music to be listened to. He spoke to no one but Rannel, generally, and those who did speak to him, usually only did so to ask to speak to Rannel. He had no place here but as a vessel.
And Jack never came.
He and Rannel had long arguments about the subject before they fell asleep each night.
Something must have gone wrong on Earth! Charlie would insist. What if the reetou returned?
I am afraid it is more likely that Colonel O'Neill has simply chosen not to contact you, Rannel would reply.
Jack said he'd visit. He wouldn't lie to me. At least, Charlie thought to himself, I don't think he would. Probably.
Charlie, you only knew him for a few hours.
Mother watched them for a long time. She sent me to Jack. I watched them as I grew up. She wouldn't have sent me to someone who would lie, and Jack is a good man. Something must be wrong! Because if it isn't then…I got it all wrong. I really can't trust Jack.
And over again. Until finally, one night, Rannel seemed to sigh and finally said, Then we will visit and see for ourselves.
Of course, by simply asking when a good time to visit would be, they were told there was no reason to visit the tau’ri and strongly encouraged to wait until there was such a reason. But when they scanned the agendas for upcoming council meetings, neither Charlie nor Rannel could discern anything that might qualify as a reason to visit the tau’ri. Two more suggestions were politely put aside.
Finally, Rannel seemed to reach the limit of his patience. One morning he asked for permission to assume control, and then retrieved the device the tau’ri had given the tok'ra to inform them to open their chappa'ai to friendly travellers. It was a simple device, and so building another device to mimic its function was quite easy. And because there were no secrets among the tok'ra, Rannel was able to simply look up the code necessary to send with his duplicate device to communicate with the tau’ri. It was stored in the tok'ra records to be accessed as needed, after all.
Charlie wasn't sure what had gotten into Rannel. He had been, to this point, generally thoughtful and restrained. This sudden action, taken in a manner that felt almost furtive and sneaking, was…uncharacteristic.
Because instead of simply leaving as soon as they were prepared, Rannel waited until they had some hours to themselves and then took them to the chappa'ai and punched up the address to a world the tok'ra knew to be uninhabited.
For all that he didn't understand the need for secrecy, Charlie couldn't help but feel a bit excited. A few weeks ago he had thought he would die after only a short life. Now, not only was he reasonably confident of living longer than most humans, but he was able to travel to other worlds.
They stepped through the watery surface of the chappa'ai.
They emerged onto a snowy wasteland with winds that made Charlie long for a nice, warm fire.
I am sorry, Rannel said to him. I simply chose the first world that came to mind. I had forgotten how cold it is here. I did not wish to risk our being observed using this device.
Charlie watched as he dialed in the address for Earth and waited for the chappa'ai to engage. Then, with their newly built communication device, Charlie watched Rannel put in the code the tau’ri had given to them. The light on their device turned on, telling them the code had been accepted and so they went, again, through the chappa'ai.
He had to admit a slight relief when they were able to walk unscathed into the tau’ri's base. Though the alarm the tau'ri used was very loud, he noted as Rannel winced at it. At least, this time, there were no men pointing weapons at him. He felt Rannel slowly raise his hands, palms outwards, in a gesture of peace.
Rannel lifted their head and said in a loud voice, “I have come to speak, if I may, to Colonel Jack O'Neill.”
There was a long pause and finally a voice coming from the speakers said, “Sergeant Lyman, is coming to escort you to General Hammond's office.”
And indeed a door opened to their left and a friendly man, with something of a large nose, entered and said, “Hello. I'm Sergeant Lyman. If you would come with me?”
Rannel nodded politely and they followed the man down a hallway and then up a two sets of staircases—which apparently took them through the room where the tau’ri controlled the gate, which Rannel eyed curiously—to a room with a long table in it. The sergeant then led him to a door and said pleasantly, “Right through there, sir.”
“My thanks, Sergeant Lyman,” Rannel said to him.
The man gave him a friendly smile and then vanished away. Rannel entered the door and they took in the office. General Hammond was seated behind his desk in a rather comfortable-looking chair and regarding them with a curious expression. “What can we do for you, Charlie? I have to say, it's good to see you looking better, son.”
Charlie felt Rannel raise an eyebrow and then he said, “My apologies, sir. I have not been introduced to you. I am Rannel, the symbiote blended with Charlie. I must ask…is everything well here?”
Hammond looked at him in even greater confusion. “Of course it is.”
“I see.” He took this in quietly.
Charlie felt a sinking in his stomach. Rannel had been right then. Nothing was wrong. Jack just hadn't wanted to contact him. Maybe he had offended him, choosing the name he had. Maybe it was his existence at all that bothered the man. Maybe it was something else entirely. But it didn't matter, in the end, what it was. He had been wrong, that was all. They would go back to the tok'ra then, and not bother the tau’ri again.
“I apologize, then, for the inconvenience we have caused, sir,” Rannel said politely. “With your permission, we will return to the planet we came from.”
Hammond blinked. “Now, hold on just a moment. You said you wanted to talk to Jack.”
“Yes.” Charlie didn't anymore, though. Jack didn't want to talk to him, obviously. He had sent him to his superior rather than speaking with him himself, even.
“Well, the thing is, it's actually somewhat late in our evening. I've got a ridiculous amount of paperwork right at the moment, or I wouldn't even be here. Colonel O'Neill isn't on the premises at the moment.”
Oh. Then Jack hadn't been avoiding him intentionally. This time, anyway.
“Actually, none of SG-1 is. But, since you've come all this way, if you like, I can get him on the phone.”
“Phone?” Rannel said curiously.
For an answer, Hammond picked up the top piece of a gray device—a similar-looking red one beside it was ignored—and pushed several buttons on it. He waited a moment, listening to the top piece, and then pushed another button and Jack's voice issued from the device. Charlie was almost ashamed at how happy he was to hear that voice.
It took a little bit of arranging, and Charlie and Rannel had to surrender every single stitch of clothes they were wearing for new, tau’ri ones, but General Hammond was able to designate them a “foreign dignitary” and give them permission for a “limited and brief expedition outside the base, provided they were in the custody of a trusted member or members of Stargate Command.” Rannel suspected this was not the intended use of that particular bit of paperwork. And after they had changed clothes, Rannel withdrew and Charlie took the lead.
The “trusted member or members of Stargate Command” arrived shortly in the form of Jack and his friend Dr. Daniel Jackson, who laughingly decried all attempts to call him “Doctor Jackson” in favor of Daniel. Neither were wearing uniforms. Charlie wasn't sure whether he thought that was odd or not.
“When we heard you'd come to visit, we decided to make it a team movie night,” Jack explained. “The only real question now is, what kind of movies do you like?”
The explanation of what a movie was and what types there were to choose from took them all the way to the “car,” which Charlie discovered was a transportation vehicle after they had climbed inside and sat down.
He found himself pushing his nose against the window of the vehicle, trying to see everything at once, even though the light was fading and it was almost too dark to distinguish what sort of vegetation was outside of the windows anyway. His fascination only grew as they got into town and he realized that the tau’ri world was absolutely full of people. There were so many other “cars” out, going all sorts of different directions. They passed by all kinds of buildings with brightly colored signs that were lighted so you could see them clearly. People walked by on the sides of the streets. They were so many and so interesting. Unlike the tok'ra, they all dressed differently and as they pleased. Certainly the girl walking down the street with pink hair that grew upwards into points could not possibly be dressing to please anyone else.
They reached their destination where Samantha and Teal'c—who, aside from not being in a uniform either, had a rather amusing hat pulled low over his forehead—were waiting for them in front of a huge building that claimed to house a number of other vendors.
“Hey, Charlie!” Samantha greeted him with a friendly wave. With her clothes and her smile, she looked just like any other person of this world. They all did. Charlie looked down at his clothes and realized with a start that so did he. He was human. And he looked like he fitted in.
“It is indeed good to see you again, Charlie,” Teal'c added, bowing his head. Charlie bowed his own, a customary goa'uld greeting he had learned living among the tok'ra.
“So, what are we watching?” Samantha asked.
“Charlie said something exciting,” Daniel told her.
“Then we must observe The Matrix,” Teal'c put in, looking just slightly smug. Smug?
“If we must,” Jack said with a sigh.
“Would you prefer something else?” Charlie asked curiously.
“Nah,” Jack replied with a grin. “Matrix'll be fine.” But he had an odd expression.
“The Matrix is a story of a sort the…people of Colorado Springs,” Teal'c explained, carefully not saying tau'ri, “designate 'science fiction.'”
“But Daniel has said it is designated as an 'action film,'” Charlie protested.
“We have many designations for our stories,” Daniel jumped in, blithely ignoring the raised eyebrows from people nearby at their conversation, “and often apply several labels. So this one is both.”
“In any case, getting Jack to watch science fiction is like pulling teeth,” Samantha put in. “But since you picked the movie, he can't complain.”
“Everyone's turning against me,” Jack grumbled, but he was smiling with his eyes, so Charlie could see he didn't really mind.
The movie was interesting. Indeed, the whole experience was. At first Charlie thought he would not understand the film very well, but he had not counted on Rannel's ability to solve puzzles or his long memories. With the help of his symbiote, they were able to parse most of the meaning of the film, resulting in both of them finding it highly enjoyable.
And then there was the watching of it. Daniel had explained that this movie was very popular but no longer a “new release,” and the room they watched in was, therefore, not very crowded. They sat in a darkened room full of chairs, and the pictures flashed onto an enormous screen in front of them, many times the size of real people. Samatha had purchased something called “popcorn,” which Charlie tried at Jack's insistence. He didn't like it very much, and neither did Rannel, to Jack's disappointment. Daniel bought himself and Charlie both drinks with crushed ice and flavoring that Daniel claimed would turn their tongues blue. And Teal'c shared with him some tasty small colored candies with a little white glyph stamped on them, though he judiciously hoarded them from the rest of his team.
Afterwards, the six of them went to a place that sold something Jack's team referred to as “pizza” to eat and discuss the movie. Charlie liked pizza. Rannel thought it was messy. Though he approved of the “bread sticks.” They both knew that no one had so much as made mention of the fact that they were not supposed to be there, but Charlie was having the first truly good day he'd had in his whole life—as far as he could remember—and SG-1 did not seem to care, so neither he nor Rannel asked any of the questions they'd come to ask. Yet.
But finally the pizza had been consumed, Charlie finished his “soda” and he and Rannel found themselves standing on the sidewalk saying good-bye to Teal'c, who was going back to Stargate Command via Samantha “dropping him off.” Daniel was accompanying them. Charlie had assumed he would return with them and moved to go with them when Jack laid a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Where 're you headed?” he demanded.
“Am I not to return with…Murray?” Charlie asked, remembering just in time to use Teal'c's false name.
“Not a chance, kiddo. You came for a real visit. You're spending the night with me. Cleared it with Hammond and everything. In fact, he practically ordered it. If I let you go back now, I might be demoted,” Jack explained, steering him back towards his car.
Charlie smiled at this. Rannel was swamped with a vast amount of relief, however. Charlie didn't entirely understand why.
The ride to Jack's house was largely quiet. When they got out, Jack led him into the house and showed him the guest room, explained how the bathroom worked, and then said, “Now, before you go to bed, we need to talk.”
“You want to know why I came,” Charlie said.
“No, I know why you came,” Jack said. “I haven't been able to send you so much as a post card since we last saw each other, and that…well, that wasn't a good day. Especially for you. Believe it or not, I actually have been trying.”
Charlie stared at him in shock.
“I got kidnapped by Hathor,” Jack said. “Long story, but the good news is, she's dead now.”
Charlie had thought his shock couldn't be increased, but that statement did so. “That is very good news,” he agreed slowly.
“Between that and the fact that your people still don't trust mine enough to give us a dependable way to contact you…well, let's just say that I've got a stack of post cards ready to go as soon as I can figure out how to get them to you,” Jack finished. “Basically, what I wanted to say is, I'm sorry. I haven't been keeping my promise and I should have.”
Charlie felt his legs start to go weak. He knew he should say something, but the words wouldn't come. And, for the first time, Rannel came surging forwards without asking permission first.
“Forgive my host,” Rannel said quietly. “You must understand, the tok'ra are not used to children. When taken together with my own influence on him, Charlie has been experiencing a rather unusual childhood.”
“I think the word you're looking for is 'joyless,'” Jack said coldly.
To Charlie's surprise—and Jack's too, apparently, judging by the way his eyebrows flew upwards—Rannel nodded. “That is perhaps the most accurate word. It is difficult for him to form friends as a human child ordinarily would. And many tok'ra are apt to forget he is a child at all. They do not intend it as a slight. And when they recall this, they are quite kind.”
Jack looked rueful. “Well, you, anyway, have just leap-frogged into the position of Best Snake for bringing him here.”
Rannel chuckled at this. “I am almost hesitant to say thank you for such a back-handed compliment.”
“How's he doing, anyway, health-wise?” Jack asked.
“I have been able to compensate for his defects,” Rannel replied. “Though dispensing with them will take longer. Simply reducing his growth rate to a normal one solved many of the short-term problems. But I must now retrain many of his systems from a genetic level, which will take many years. However, by the time he reaches adulthood, I believe I will have been able to eradicate the problems. It will mean he will loose his ability to see the reetou, but it will also ensure that he not remain dependent on me for his survival, should something happen to me.”
Charlie hadn't known this, or even suspected it, and had absolutely no idea how to even begin to thank Rannel for it.
Do not even consider it, Rannel snapped at him, though his mental voice sounded fond. If we are brothers, than it is only proper I care for you as I may.
“Wow. I didn't know you could do that,” Jack said. “You aren't worried something will happen, are you?”
“No, but the tok'ra are an illegal and hunted resistance movement. It is best to be prepared,” Rannel answered with a shrug. “I am going to retire now, and allow Charlie to resume speaking. But I thank you, Jack O'Neill, for your kindness to him.”
And with that, Charlie was standing on his feet again, not quite sure how to respond to the conversation he'd just heard. He began stammering out a thank you, when Jack cut him off.
“Hey, no. No thanking me. You saved me, and my friends, and my world, from those rebel reetou. And, besides that, you're a good kid. We've all been kind of worried at you, at the SGC. I should be thanking you for coming around so we know you're okay,” Jack said.
“I will have to return tomorrow,” Charlie said. “The other tok'ra will be angry.”
“I doubt it,” Jack said, “but if they are, you let your snake loose on 'em. Rannel seems like he's pretty solidly in your corner.”
This prompted the equivalent of a mental eyeroll from Rannel, who was wondering who else's corner he would be in, after all, but Charlie didn't mind. Because for the first time since before his mother had sent him to the tau’ri, he felt truly safe. Rannel was working on fixing him, Jack wasn't angry and did still like him after all, and he hadn't ruined anything for the tau’ri or the tok'ra with this excursion, however immature it was.
Because he realized now that it was very, very childish of him to have run away like this. Why had Rannel helped him do it?
You are a child, Rannel pointed out almost angrily. You have done nothing specifically wrong, however much we may have violated the “spirit of the law,” so to speak. And you required reassurance. Do not be troubled. Go to sleep. We will deal with the tok'ra in the morning. And we will do it together.
The morning came far too soon. Astonishingly, Jack had managed to find clean clothes for him. Rannel suspected he'd acquired them the previous night after they had gone to bed. And after cleaning their teeth, Charlie followed his nose from the guest room to find Jack in the kitchen cooking…something.
Charlie opened his mouth to ask what it was when a knock came on the door.
Jack looked curiously at Charlie, who looked just as curiously back. Jack then gave a shrug and said, “Come on in!”
Jacob Carter, of all people, came in. Charlie's heart sank down to his odd, tau’ri shoes. He was in so much trouble that Selmak had to be sent for him? Though, from the clothes he was wearing, he looked like any other tau’ri. Charlie forgot sometimes that Carter was from this world.
“Hello, Jack,” Carter said. “Hi, Charlie.”
“Jacob!” Jack greeted him with a big grin that showed too many teeth. “How's things?”
“A little topsy-turvy from our runaway here. No one told me you'd been angling to visit until after they realized you were missing,” Carter explained.
Rannel rushed forwards again. “Charlie's presence here is my fault completely. He is not to be blamed—”
“Hey!” Jack broke in. “Any arguing must be done after waffles and not before!” He turned to Jacob. “Butter and syrup?”
“Oh, yes, please,” Carter answered with a friendly smile.
Some understanding seemed to pass between him and Jack, because Jack's answering smile didn't have too many teeth in it. He looked…relieved.
Carter inquired about their outing last night, but when he exhibited nothing more than curiosity and even asked about the film, Rannel retreated again and encouraged Charlie to speak about what things he'd enjoyed and what he had found confusing. Carter and Jack filled in some of the gaps, so that by the time they returned to the SGC, Charlie felt much more confident he'd understood the plot correctly.
Charlie redressed in his tok'ra clothes. They were ludicrously small. The only set that had been made for a child. When he had put them on, he realized just how silly he felt in them. Like they belonged to someone else.
There was a knock on the door. Charlie opened it to see Jacob Carter standing before him, looking down calmly.
“Are you prepared to return?” Selmak asked him.
Charlie nodded. He fell into step beside Selmak. After a moment he asked, “Why is it that Jack has been unable to visit me? Why is my visiting him such a remarkable event?”
The voice that answered him was Carter's. He sighed and said, “Politics. The tok'ra don't trust anyone easily, so they don't want to let the tau’ri in on our secrets. And the tau’ri are keeping the gate secret from most of their people, plus dealing with their own politicians in even trying to keep their gate program active at all. Believe me, I sympathize. I don't get to see Sam, either.”
Charlie nodded. “She is your daughter. That is hard.”
“Maybe we'll be able to make an exception for you, in the future.”
There was a white-hot flash of anger from Rannel, who was speaking so fast that Charlie almost didn't realize it until the words were coming out of his mouth. “Is this really true? Or are you merely saying it to gain the trust of my host long enough to return him to Vorash?” For someone who had always been so careful and cautious to ask him permission before even speaking, Rannel was certainly behaving much more assertively these past few days.
Now Carter's eyes flashed. “I will most assuredly make a case to the Council on his behalf,” Selmak said.
“A case we both know will mostly likely be futile,” Rannel snapped.
There was a deep silence. Finally Selmak said, “Most likely.” He sounded defeated.
They entered the gate room.
“You must not lie to him, Selmak,” Rannel said. “My host has suffered sufficiently for his life, short though it has been. Having been groomed to trust only one human, he now sees nothing of that man and has been forced to depend on an alien creature simply to remain alive. He does not need to wonder if he can believe what he is told on top of all of this. He deserves better from us.”
They stopped in front of the gate. Rannel had pulled back again and Charlie was ashamed to discover there were tears that suddenly were coursing down his cheeks. He wiped them away in frustration. “I was going to come back with you anyway. You didn't have to try and trick me.”
“Hey,” Jacob said, catching his hands. “It isn't a trick. I will take your case to the Council. Rannel is right that they probably won't listen, but I promise I'm going to try. Maybe, with two of us connected to the tau’ri, instead of just me, it will at least make them more sympathetic. Maybe they won't listen now, but there's always going to be more chances in the future.”
Charlie nodded, glancing to the chappa'ai as the symbol ring spun slowly. Why did the tau'ri gate run at such an impossibly slow speed? “Please tell me what the Council says? Even if it is not what I would like.”
“You got it,” Jacob agreed. “You've been so brave. Sometimes I forget how much you've been through lately. I'm old enough to know better than that. My fault.”
Charlie shook his head. “Rannel has said the same things. Why is how I feel everyone's fault but mine?”
Jacob laughed. “Maybe we just want to be a little nice to you. You really have been through a lot lately. Aldwin and I talked. We are going to work something out so that we can both spend more time with you. It isn't quite the same as having someone your own age, but I think we can work it out. Is that all right with you?”
Charlie thought it over. He finally said, “I don't know that it will help. But I don't believe it will make things worse.”
Jacob actually smiled at this. “Good. I'm glad you're honest. And if that doesn't help, then we'll think of something else. But you are not going to be alone, Charlie. We're going to stick with you.”
Charlie nodded. It wasn't perfect. But perhaps it was enough.
The chappa'ai engaged. He took a breath, drew himself up, and was about to step forward when he noticed something. Jacob Carter reaching out his hand.
So he reached back and took it.
Author's Notes: The episode “Show and Tell” went out on February 26, 1999. That season ended on March 12 with a “To Be Continued...” cliffhanger that didn't conclude until June 25 (also 1999). For the sake of this story, I'm assuming that Charlie goes to the tok'ra in February, and that “Out Of Mind/Into The Fire” happen together on March 12-13ish (beware the ides of March, indeed). So by the time Charlie visits Jack, it's some time in early April. Which is all terribly important because when I went to look up which movies would have been in theaters at the time, I discovered that The Matrix had come out March 31, 1999. So obviously, SG-1 was going to go watch that. Clearly.
Because I am picky about this sort of thing, according to some Googling, the theater that they go to is the Carmike Chapel Hills 15, which is connected to a mall, and was established in 1982, so it was definitely there in 1999. It does not have stadium seating, but does give military discounts, according to the online reviews. Yes, I actually double-checked whether or not the pickin' theater was there at the time. Yes, I am that lame. So sue me.
In my head, Teal'c totally has a sweet tooth and eats lots of M&Ms.
I actually started writing this story several years ago. I don't even recall when. But I finally sat down and banged out the rest of it all at once one night, and so now I can post it up. The is my first Stargate fic in a while, too. It's kind of nice to come back to this fandom, as it is one of my very first.
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Date: 2012-02-16 12:24 am (UTC)And I totally understand the checking up on time-periods and what happened when to get it right. I do that too!
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Date: 2012-02-16 12:52 am (UTC)Anyhoo, I'm pleased that you were pleased. :)
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Date: 2012-02-16 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-16 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-16 07:00 am (UTC)And this: I am afraid that to be a good tok’ra, you must often be a horrible person. We are not an honorable people.
Heh, yes. What a great summation of the Tok'ra.
Off to rec this. :)
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Date: 2012-02-16 07:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-16 12:13 pm (UTC)And wow! Thanks for the rec. I appreciate it.
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Date: 2012-02-18 09:16 pm (UTC)I'm glad Charlie got his visit with Jack—and that he came after Jack was back from Hathor, because getting to Earth only to learn that Jack was MIA would have been too cruel. I hope Charlie survived all the misfortunes of the Tok'ra and was able to see Jack again!
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Date: 2012-02-19 04:57 am (UTC)In any case, I'm glad you liked it. And thanks for dropping me a line. :)
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Date: 2012-02-28 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-28 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 09:42 pm (UTC)I'm looking forward to 'A Small Problem,' which is high on my to-read-next list. :-)