bungakertas (
bungakertas) wrote2014-01-27 08:08 am
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Compatible Weirdness - Chapter 3
Compatible Weirdness - Chapter 3
Disclaimer and general author's notes are in the first chapter, which is linked at the bottom.
*~*~*
The Stark Industries ego project was given the name of the Stark Expo. It was loud and big and bright and shiny and unbelievably Tony. Phil got fifty texts on opening day. Stark asking him what he thought of everything from the exhibits to his entrance to the color scheme. He finally texted the man saying everything was too bright and too loud and it reminded him of Stark.
It was a long time before Phil got a response.
“Does it bother you that much?”
He rolled his eyes and replied, “It’s part of your charm.”
“Thanks, Phil.”
He had to blink at that. He hadn’t been entirely sure Stark actually knew his name. Finding out he did sent a warm feeling through him that he quashed because he was at work.
He watched Stark on C-SPAN the next day during his senate hearing and then sent him a message. “I was cheering for you the whole time.” Granted, it was hard not to cheer against Senator Stern. Why Pennsylvania kept electing him was an utter mystery.
His phone beeped again almost immediately. “This is Pepper—don’t encourage him.”
He frowned. Tony still hadn’t told her. His blood was growing more toxic by the day. He wouldn’t last much longer. Even his comments at the Expo had been revelatory. “It’s about what we choose to leave behind.” A little box had arrived in Phil’s mail (and how Stark had found his address was something he was still tracking down) that carried a brand new Starkphone, the nicest watch he had ever laid eyes on in his life, and a little note that said, “You have free software and hardware upgrades and unlimited everything. Forever.” There was a key to a safety deposit box, too. It had contained a receiver for a GPS tracker. There was a note there that said, “This receiver tracks me and the suit. If you ever need to find either, you can.”
Phil should have told SHIELD he had this. He now had the means to track Stark’s Iron Man suit anywhere in the world. And Stark. There was no way to excuse keeping this information to himself.
He kept it to himself anyway. He did use Tony’s giving away his entire art collection and promotion of Pepper as an excuse to recommend closer monitoring. Of course, Romanoff wouldn’t have been his first choice of monitor for a lot of reasons. The fact that she was evening and gorgeous was not one of them. Because he was far too professional for jealousy.
Pepper’s messages about Tony “drooling” did not bother him in the slightest. Nor did she sound any more jealous than he did.
He got a text from Stark several days later. “Come to my birthday party.”
He said yes. He was about to leave for California when he got a call from SHIELD. Some kind of public fight between Spider-Man and a man with an arsenal that would put some whole countries to shame in New York. They still hadn’t gotten a handle on Spider-Man, but they knew he was one of the good guys. This guy with the pumpkin-bombs was a new player though, and that meant SHIELD had to go wade in with sticks and sort things out. So, for the first time in a long time, he called Tony.
“Wait, you’re canceling on me?” Stark asked. He sounded…hurt.
“Not by choice. Work. It’s important.” He paused for a long moment, then said, “I’m sorry, Tony.”
There was a deep silence. Finally Tony said, “But you wanted to be here?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. You’re absolutely lame for flaking on me, but I will forgive you because you actually manage to make government-chic look reasonably attractive. If, and only if, the next time we meet, you show me your badge.”
Phil blinked. Stark thought he was attractive? (Hooray!) And possibly had just said something inappropriate.
“And that’s not a euphemism, by the way. Your actual badge.”
Ah. So he hadn’t said something inappropriate. Phil did not examine the minute disappointment he felt.
“I can accept those terms,” Phil finally said.
“Good. See you soon.”
Phil had not expected the full-scale meltdown that followed this conversation. He’d known Tony was reaching the end of his rope over his condition, but a drunken party in his home, using the suit’s repulsors uncomfortably close to the heads of his guests, and then getting into a massive fight with his best friend that resulted in the destruction of most of that home? That was reactive on a level Phil hadn’t realized existed until that moment. (And, of course, Rhodes had his own suit now. The USAF was very professionally gloating about this to every other government entity with an acronym. General Schwartz was rumored to be so smug as to be actually unapproachable right now.)
He was more than pleased that he didn’t need to request to be on the team that brought Stark back down to Earth. Fury ordered him on the plane. He was especially pleased that he managed to keep a straight face when Fury casually tossed out “You remember Agent Coulson?” and left him as Stark’s babysitter.
But he also remembered his promise to Stark, so he displayed his creds prominently on the breast pocket of his suit jacket.
Tony was wearing, of all things, a smoking jacket and leveled a dark look at him that made Phil want to smack him or kiss him or something. This man had had what was nearly a psychotic break the night before, Pepper was nowhere to be seen, and now he was saying something about sending one of Phil’s agents to get coffee? As if everything were fine.
So he squared his shoulders, tapped the badge on his chest and said, “I’m not here for that. I’ve been authorized by Director Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises.” He took a step closer, into Tony’s space. “If you attempt to leave, or play any games, I will tase you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet. Okay?”
Tony blinked. “I think I got it, yeah.”
“Enjoy your evening’s entertainment.” He turned and walked away and very valiantly did not demand that Tony call Pepper and apologize. He did not ask for the same thing for himself. He checked his men on the perimeter and then, because he hadn’t eaten since the East Coast, wandered into the kitchen.
This was one of the few areas of the house that had not been badly damaged in the fight. Unfortunately, he wasn’t entirely sure which of the myriad sleek doors or cabinets opened into a refrigerator and which just to cupboards. They all looked identical. He started opening them at random, looking for something edible.
“Do you require assistance, Agent?” a voice with a calm British accent asked.
Phil turned, halfway to drawing his gun before he realized there was no one in the kitchen with him.
“Hello?”
“Hello, sir,” the voice said, not seeming to come from anywhere, but definitely not an imagination. “I take it by your look of surprise that Mister Stark did not inform you about me.”
“Mister Stark and I haven’t spoken much today,” Phil told the voice, pleased that he’d totally regained his professional demeanor.
“My name is JARVIS. I am a computer system that governs Mister Stark’s day-to-day affairs.” Something Phil had initially dismissed as a floor-to-ceiling cabinet flashed. “The refrigerator and freezer are behind those doors. I am also capable of preparing nearly any meal you request myself.”
Phil glanced around the kitchen and didn’t see any obvious means for a computer to do this, but he decided not to ask. “I don’t suppose there are bagels?”
JARVIS walked him through finding everything. Phil ate the artisan, handmade, honey wheat bagels with organic, locally-sourced cream cheese. And then he said, “Can you tell me where Stark is right now?”
“Mister Stark has authorized you to access all of my systems as you desire. He is currently located on the floor beneath this one, in the screening room.”
Tony had given him administrator privileges over his house? Oh no.
He found the screening room without really consciously directing his feet. “Stark, what is wrong with you?”
“I…have palladium poisoning,” Stark answered without looking up from his father’s notebook. Beside him, a reel of film had run out and was clicking uselessly as the projector flashed white light onto the screen.
“About which you still haven’t told Pepper, I’ve noticed. You gave me administrator privileges for your house? You gave me a way to locate you and your suit anywhere in the world? This doesn’t count as saying goodbye.”
“I’ve been trying very hard not to say goodbye and you, I recall, were the one who didn’t come to see me. Something about work?”
“Yes, Stark, there was a man attacking people in Manhattan. With bombs.”
Tony actually blinked at that and finally looked up and said, “As excuses go, that’s not the worst one I’ve heard.”
Phil sighed. “Tell Pepper.”
“If I can solve this, she won’t need to worry, and if I can’t, she’ll be sad enough as it is. It doesn’t make sense for her to have to worry about it now.” He scowled at his notes. “Fury says I can solve this.”
“Fury’s not wrong.”
“Then go away,” Tony told him. “You’re distracting enough just being in the house. I can’t think with you in the room.”
He started to go, but turned at the doorway and said, “Pepper isn’t the only one looking out for you, you know.”
Tony looked up, but Phil kept walking. He was a coward for just throwing that out and then running away, but neither of them were capable of finishing that conversation right now. When Tony left the next morning, he didn’t even try to stop him.
Tony came back with a massive display from the original Stark Expo and an expression that looked slightly manic. Phil watched from a security monitor as he played with the display some using his computer and then, apparently inspired by that, he began dismantling parts of what remained of his house in order to build…something. Whatever he was building, it was impressive to watch. He worked with a single-minded intensity that seemed to bypass any need of food or sleep. That was a feeling Phil knew from the inside. He’d gotten it from cases before. But seeing it on Tony was a rush of its own.
Then he got a call. An 0-8-4. Possibly of alien origin (he had the strangest job in the entire government and he included NASA, submarine skippers, and lobbyists in that assessment) had landed in New Mexico. He was being called in, along with Barton, to field it.
So he went down to Tony’s workshop. There was a small fingerprint scanner by the door. He decided to test JARVIS’ comment that he could go anywhere he liked in this house and so he laid his fingers on the glass. With a pleasant beep, the light above the door handle turned green.
How Stark had gotten his prints was a matter to be thought on at a later date. Right now he was just going to celebrate how wonderful it felt to have been given free access to Tony’s space. All of it.
“I heard you broke the perimeter,” he said, because he wasn’t celebrating out loud.
“Ah, yeah,” Tony replied, giving him a careless glance. “That was, like, three years ago. Where’ve you been?”
Whatever Tony was building, up close it looked just as incomprehensible as it had on the monitors. Massive piping sprouted from one wall, and was held roughly four feet off the ground with, apparently, whatever had happened to be handy. It traveled in a semi-circle until disappearing into another wall on the far side of the room.
“I was doing some stuff.”
“Yeah, well, me too. And it worked.”
Phil glanced around the workshop, not really listening to Tony’s comments about how they were on the same side. He looked into an enormous chest full of random things and saw… No! It couldn’t be. He pulled something out. It looked like either a planning model or a stylized decoration version of the shield Steve Rogers had carried as Captain America. There was only part of a star, and the spokes radiating out from one side didn’t seem to serve any useful purpose, but it was definitely some version of Rogers’ shield.
“What’s this doing here?” he demanded.
Tony turned, caught sight of the shield and looked shocked. “That’s it.”
Phil held the shield and said nothing.
“Bring that to me,” Tony demanded.
“You know what this is?”
“It’s exactly what I need to make this work,” Tony said.
Phil brought the shield over, where, much to his disgust, Tony used it to level the piping and apparently had no idea of its historical significance at all. Honestly, a man risks his life for an insane science experiment, fights Nazis, and is KIA, and this is the thanks he gets? The speculation was that if he had survived the war he, and Howard Stark would have probably gotten married. There were definitely some…interesting moments on the old video reels. Rogers could have been Tony’s morning father and Tony didn’t even recognize the shield?
Tony took the level off the join of the pipes. “I’m busy. What do you want?”
“Nothing.” Phil tried to think of a way to explain everything and finally settled on, “Goodbye.” Dork! “I’ve been reassigned.”
“Oh.”
Maybe it was imagination, but Tony sounded honestly disappointed at that.
“Director Fury wants me in New Mexico,” he finished lamely.
“Fantastic,” Tony said, not meeting his eyes. “Land of Enchantment.”
“So I’m told.”
“Secret stuff?”
“Something like that.”
“Hm.” Tony finally looked at him with a tight smile.
“Good luck,” Phil said, offering his hand.
“Bye,” Tony said, taking it. And then, taking Phil completely by surprise, he yanked on his arm, pulling him closer, and leaned over the huge coil to kiss him. It was hard and fast and over in a second. “Thanks.” Then Tony let go.
Completely at a loss, Phil blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “We need you.”
“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “More than you know.”
Phil gave him a smirk. “Not that much.”
Tony actually laughed at that.
*~*~*
Author’s Notes: I actually called the US Capitol Switchboard and pestered some of our government minions to get past info on the 2010 Senate roster and committee rosters for this bit. And then it turned out I needed none of that information in the story! Oops.
It's Hobgoblin that Spidey is fighting with in New York, for the curious. The line about an arsenal that puts whole countries to shame is an as-near-as-I-remember-it quote from Spidey in their first encounter in Spider-Man: The Animated Series from the '90s.
General Norton A. Schwartz was the Air Force Chief of Staff in 2010, which is when the IM2 portion of this story is set (I know Marvel has some kind of accelerated timeline, but their timeline is insane I have discounted it).
Chapter One - First Meetings
Chapter Two - Three
Chapter Four - Darcy
Chapter Five - Balance
Chapter Six - Tesseract
Chapter Seven - Tahiti
Disclaimer and general author's notes are in the first chapter, which is linked at the bottom.
The Stark Industries ego project was given the name of the Stark Expo. It was loud and big and bright and shiny and unbelievably Tony. Phil got fifty texts on opening day. Stark asking him what he thought of everything from the exhibits to his entrance to the color scheme. He finally texted the man saying everything was too bright and too loud and it reminded him of Stark.
It was a long time before Phil got a response.
“Does it bother you that much?”
He rolled his eyes and replied, “It’s part of your charm.”
“Thanks, Phil.”
He had to blink at that. He hadn’t been entirely sure Stark actually knew his name. Finding out he did sent a warm feeling through him that he quashed because he was at work.
He watched Stark on C-SPAN the next day during his senate hearing and then sent him a message. “I was cheering for you the whole time.” Granted, it was hard not to cheer against Senator Stern. Why Pennsylvania kept electing him was an utter mystery.
His phone beeped again almost immediately. “This is Pepper—don’t encourage him.”
He frowned. Tony still hadn’t told her. His blood was growing more toxic by the day. He wouldn’t last much longer. Even his comments at the Expo had been revelatory. “It’s about what we choose to leave behind.” A little box had arrived in Phil’s mail (and how Stark had found his address was something he was still tracking down) that carried a brand new Starkphone, the nicest watch he had ever laid eyes on in his life, and a little note that said, “You have free software and hardware upgrades and unlimited everything. Forever.” There was a key to a safety deposit box, too. It had contained a receiver for a GPS tracker. There was a note there that said, “This receiver tracks me and the suit. If you ever need to find either, you can.”
Phil should have told SHIELD he had this. He now had the means to track Stark’s Iron Man suit anywhere in the world. And Stark. There was no way to excuse keeping this information to himself.
He kept it to himself anyway. He did use Tony’s giving away his entire art collection and promotion of Pepper as an excuse to recommend closer monitoring. Of course, Romanoff wouldn’t have been his first choice of monitor for a lot of reasons. The fact that she was evening and gorgeous was not one of them. Because he was far too professional for jealousy.
Pepper’s messages about Tony “drooling” did not bother him in the slightest. Nor did she sound any more jealous than he did.
He got a text from Stark several days later. “Come to my birthday party.”
He said yes. He was about to leave for California when he got a call from SHIELD. Some kind of public fight between Spider-Man and a man with an arsenal that would put some whole countries to shame in New York. They still hadn’t gotten a handle on Spider-Man, but they knew he was one of the good guys. This guy with the pumpkin-bombs was a new player though, and that meant SHIELD had to go wade in with sticks and sort things out. So, for the first time in a long time, he called Tony.
“Wait, you’re canceling on me?” Stark asked. He sounded…hurt.
“Not by choice. Work. It’s important.” He paused for a long moment, then said, “I’m sorry, Tony.”
There was a deep silence. Finally Tony said, “But you wanted to be here?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. You’re absolutely lame for flaking on me, but I will forgive you because you actually manage to make government-chic look reasonably attractive. If, and only if, the next time we meet, you show me your badge.”
Phil blinked. Stark thought he was attractive? (Hooray!) And possibly had just said something inappropriate.
“And that’s not a euphemism, by the way. Your actual badge.”
Ah. So he hadn’t said something inappropriate. Phil did not examine the minute disappointment he felt.
“I can accept those terms,” Phil finally said.
“Good. See you soon.”
Phil had not expected the full-scale meltdown that followed this conversation. He’d known Tony was reaching the end of his rope over his condition, but a drunken party in his home, using the suit’s repulsors uncomfortably close to the heads of his guests, and then getting into a massive fight with his best friend that resulted in the destruction of most of that home? That was reactive on a level Phil hadn’t realized existed until that moment. (And, of course, Rhodes had his own suit now. The USAF was very professionally gloating about this to every other government entity with an acronym. General Schwartz was rumored to be so smug as to be actually unapproachable right now.)
He was more than pleased that he didn’t need to request to be on the team that brought Stark back down to Earth. Fury ordered him on the plane. He was especially pleased that he managed to keep a straight face when Fury casually tossed out “You remember Agent Coulson?” and left him as Stark’s babysitter.
But he also remembered his promise to Stark, so he displayed his creds prominently on the breast pocket of his suit jacket.
Tony was wearing, of all things, a smoking jacket and leveled a dark look at him that made Phil want to smack him or kiss him or something. This man had had what was nearly a psychotic break the night before, Pepper was nowhere to be seen, and now he was saying something about sending one of Phil’s agents to get coffee? As if everything were fine.
So he squared his shoulders, tapped the badge on his chest and said, “I’m not here for that. I’ve been authorized by Director Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises.” He took a step closer, into Tony’s space. “If you attempt to leave, or play any games, I will tase you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet. Okay?”
Tony blinked. “I think I got it, yeah.”
“Enjoy your evening’s entertainment.” He turned and walked away and very valiantly did not demand that Tony call Pepper and apologize. He did not ask for the same thing for himself. He checked his men on the perimeter and then, because he hadn’t eaten since the East Coast, wandered into the kitchen.
This was one of the few areas of the house that had not been badly damaged in the fight. Unfortunately, he wasn’t entirely sure which of the myriad sleek doors or cabinets opened into a refrigerator and which just to cupboards. They all looked identical. He started opening them at random, looking for something edible.
“Do you require assistance, Agent?” a voice with a calm British accent asked.
Phil turned, halfway to drawing his gun before he realized there was no one in the kitchen with him.
“Hello?”
“Hello, sir,” the voice said, not seeming to come from anywhere, but definitely not an imagination. “I take it by your look of surprise that Mister Stark did not inform you about me.”
“Mister Stark and I haven’t spoken much today,” Phil told the voice, pleased that he’d totally regained his professional demeanor.
“My name is JARVIS. I am a computer system that governs Mister Stark’s day-to-day affairs.” Something Phil had initially dismissed as a floor-to-ceiling cabinet flashed. “The refrigerator and freezer are behind those doors. I am also capable of preparing nearly any meal you request myself.”
Phil glanced around the kitchen and didn’t see any obvious means for a computer to do this, but he decided not to ask. “I don’t suppose there are bagels?”
JARVIS walked him through finding everything. Phil ate the artisan, handmade, honey wheat bagels with organic, locally-sourced cream cheese. And then he said, “Can you tell me where Stark is right now?”
“Mister Stark has authorized you to access all of my systems as you desire. He is currently located on the floor beneath this one, in the screening room.”
Tony had given him administrator privileges over his house? Oh no.
He found the screening room without really consciously directing his feet. “Stark, what is wrong with you?”
“I…have palladium poisoning,” Stark answered without looking up from his father’s notebook. Beside him, a reel of film had run out and was clicking uselessly as the projector flashed white light onto the screen.
“About which you still haven’t told Pepper, I’ve noticed. You gave me administrator privileges for your house? You gave me a way to locate you and your suit anywhere in the world? This doesn’t count as saying goodbye.”
“I’ve been trying very hard not to say goodbye and you, I recall, were the one who didn’t come to see me. Something about work?”
“Yes, Stark, there was a man attacking people in Manhattan. With bombs.”
Tony actually blinked at that and finally looked up and said, “As excuses go, that’s not the worst one I’ve heard.”
Phil sighed. “Tell Pepper.”
“If I can solve this, she won’t need to worry, and if I can’t, she’ll be sad enough as it is. It doesn’t make sense for her to have to worry about it now.” He scowled at his notes. “Fury says I can solve this.”
“Fury’s not wrong.”
“Then go away,” Tony told him. “You’re distracting enough just being in the house. I can’t think with you in the room.”
He started to go, but turned at the doorway and said, “Pepper isn’t the only one looking out for you, you know.”
Tony looked up, but Phil kept walking. He was a coward for just throwing that out and then running away, but neither of them were capable of finishing that conversation right now. When Tony left the next morning, he didn’t even try to stop him.
Tony came back with a massive display from the original Stark Expo and an expression that looked slightly manic. Phil watched from a security monitor as he played with the display some using his computer and then, apparently inspired by that, he began dismantling parts of what remained of his house in order to build…something. Whatever he was building, it was impressive to watch. He worked with a single-minded intensity that seemed to bypass any need of food or sleep. That was a feeling Phil knew from the inside. He’d gotten it from cases before. But seeing it on Tony was a rush of its own.
Then he got a call. An 0-8-4. Possibly of alien origin (he had the strangest job in the entire government and he included NASA, submarine skippers, and lobbyists in that assessment) had landed in New Mexico. He was being called in, along with Barton, to field it.
So he went down to Tony’s workshop. There was a small fingerprint scanner by the door. He decided to test JARVIS’ comment that he could go anywhere he liked in this house and so he laid his fingers on the glass. With a pleasant beep, the light above the door handle turned green.
How Stark had gotten his prints was a matter to be thought on at a later date. Right now he was just going to celebrate how wonderful it felt to have been given free access to Tony’s space. All of it.
“I heard you broke the perimeter,” he said, because he wasn’t celebrating out loud.
“Ah, yeah,” Tony replied, giving him a careless glance. “That was, like, three years ago. Where’ve you been?”
Whatever Tony was building, up close it looked just as incomprehensible as it had on the monitors. Massive piping sprouted from one wall, and was held roughly four feet off the ground with, apparently, whatever had happened to be handy. It traveled in a semi-circle until disappearing into another wall on the far side of the room.
“I was doing some stuff.”
“Yeah, well, me too. And it worked.”
Phil glanced around the workshop, not really listening to Tony’s comments about how they were on the same side. He looked into an enormous chest full of random things and saw… No! It couldn’t be. He pulled something out. It looked like either a planning model or a stylized decoration version of the shield Steve Rogers had carried as Captain America. There was only part of a star, and the spokes radiating out from one side didn’t seem to serve any useful purpose, but it was definitely some version of Rogers’ shield.
“What’s this doing here?” he demanded.
Tony turned, caught sight of the shield and looked shocked. “That’s it.”
Phil held the shield and said nothing.
“Bring that to me,” Tony demanded.
“You know what this is?”
“It’s exactly what I need to make this work,” Tony said.
Phil brought the shield over, where, much to his disgust, Tony used it to level the piping and apparently had no idea of its historical significance at all. Honestly, a man risks his life for an insane science experiment, fights Nazis, and is KIA, and this is the thanks he gets? The speculation was that if he had survived the war he, and Howard Stark would have probably gotten married. There were definitely some…interesting moments on the old video reels. Rogers could have been Tony’s morning father and Tony didn’t even recognize the shield?
Tony took the level off the join of the pipes. “I’m busy. What do you want?”
“Nothing.” Phil tried to think of a way to explain everything and finally settled on, “Goodbye.” Dork! “I’ve been reassigned.”
“Oh.”
Maybe it was imagination, but Tony sounded honestly disappointed at that.
“Director Fury wants me in New Mexico,” he finished lamely.
“Fantastic,” Tony said, not meeting his eyes. “Land of Enchantment.”
“So I’m told.”
“Secret stuff?”
“Something like that.”
“Hm.” Tony finally looked at him with a tight smile.
“Good luck,” Phil said, offering his hand.
“Bye,” Tony said, taking it. And then, taking Phil completely by surprise, he yanked on his arm, pulling him closer, and leaned over the huge coil to kiss him. It was hard and fast and over in a second. “Thanks.” Then Tony let go.
Completely at a loss, Phil blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “We need you.”
“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “More than you know.”
Phil gave him a smirk. “Not that much.”
Tony actually laughed at that.
Author’s Notes: I actually called the US Capitol Switchboard and pestered some of our government minions to get past info on the 2010 Senate roster and committee rosters for this bit. And then it turned out I needed none of that information in the story! Oops.
It's Hobgoblin that Spidey is fighting with in New York, for the curious. The line about an arsenal that puts whole countries to shame is an as-near-as-I-remember-it quote from Spidey in their first encounter in Spider-Man: The Animated Series from the '90s.
General Norton A. Schwartz was the Air Force Chief of Staff in 2010, which is when the IM2 portion of this story is set (I know Marvel has some kind of accelerated timeline, but their timeline is insane I have discounted it).
Chapter One - First Meetings
Chapter Two - Three
Chapter Four - Darcy
Chapter Five - Balance
Chapter Six - Tesseract
Chapter Seven - Tahiti